I Care Enough To Feel My Own Shortcomings
The next piece that I feel moved to share from our creative writing circle is by our treasured tech ninja and systems virtuoso Max Nachamkin.
On this occasion I’m linking to a short video on Facebook of of Max reading his own piece, in part because I recently received an invitation to share these as spoken word pieces and also because Max’s reading of it was just so moving to hear.
In receiving Max’s piece, it felt like it beautifully touched upon the flavour of experience, the nature of thoughts and feelings that so often come up for us as we’re guided to sit down in silence and stillness…..
…..and to feel what comes up inside our bodies (as we were invited to do through Paul’s piece (entitled “You’ll Know What to Do”).
Sitting is simple enough, but as I hope you come to see, it’s certainly not easy (especially if it’s not something that we’re accustomed to doing).
It can be uncomfortable to come face-to-face with the feelings that we’ve been pushing down or brushing aside, as we scurry to “handle other priorities”.
And to actually allow ourselves to feel and embody the depths of all that’s there.
But it’s also an essential piece to the involutionary process;
It’s the act of choosing to surrender;
To clear the internal space for more Divine inspiration to flow through into form.
That’s why Max’s expression was such a beautiful example of what happens when we do it;
It offered a transparent and valuable insight into what real-life vulnerable self-reflection looks and feels like, through:
His unwavering belief in what’s possible;
His deep care for others;
The recognition of his doubts and the owning of his perceived limitations and insecurities;
The taking of responsibility for his impact on the people around him;
And for what’s happening in the world.
His willingness to feel the pain (even when it’s a LOT);
And his commitment to learning, growing and continuing to care in the face of it all.
Thank you for your service Max.
I deeply appreciate how you show up and hope it serves as inspiration for others to follow your lead.
With love and blessings,
I believe that a world that works for everyone is possible, though I know that others do not.
I care about every individual on this planet, whether I know them or not.
I feel the potential for society, and other times I get stuck in my own limitations.
I often see patterns further ahead than is good for me.
I’ve been heartbroken before and that makes me nervous sometimes.
I often see my own limitations more than my own gifts, and am hard on myself a lot.
I feel how I impact people and have impacted people with my own insecurities.
I feel my own shortcomings.
But I care.
I care about how I show up in the world.
I care about how other people feel.
I care about this planet.
I feel responsible for all of it.
I feel responsible for every thought, for every action, for everything.
It’s a lot.
It’s a lot to see the gaps in myself and where I want to be and where I want the planet to be.
It’s a lot to feel others pain. It’s a lot to feel my own pain.
It’s a lot to navigate life with the level of integrity and purity that I want for myself and for others.
But I care.
I care about going through my own process and growth journey for the betterment of everyone involved, even if it’s hard.
I care about getting feedback so I can learn, even if I’m not the best at receiving it.
I care about learning from my failures, even if they happen over and over again.
I care about the people in my life, even if I don’t always visibly show it.
I care about life.